Sitting in a Cafe Getting Stinking Drunk: A Hemmingway Parody

“Come on, Eddie. Do say something. Don’t just sit there.”

“I just did say something, Tom. About the girls. Don’t you remember?”

“Oh, say something else. Say something funny. Why don’t you get drunk like the rest of us here? Then, no matter what you’d say, you’d be as funny as hell. The damned life of the party.”

“Come on, Tom. You’re drunk.” Pat observed.

“You’re damn right. I’m drunk! Isn’t that what I just said? I must be drunk because I’m sure as funny as hell, don’t you agree?”

“Shut up, Tom. Try to stifle your instincts on personal breeding.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re mad, Eddie. Are you? Well, it doesn’t make a damn difference to me. I know what I like. Obviously, you don’t.”

“You can go to hell, Tom. You can go straight to hell.”